Announcing ‘PRIVATES’

Surely some sort of mistake? Where the HELL did this third dimension come from, then?

That’s right! Zombie Cow Studios is proud to announce we’ve gone all futuristic and 3D with Privates, a funky little game about tiny little condom-hatted marines going right up peoples’ rude areas and shooting all the nasty chompy things that tend to live there if you’ve been carelessly putting bits of yourself in silly places.

Much love to the enormously-talented @lemmy101 and @CaptainBinky who have, in all honesty, done the vast majority of the hard work. Sometimes we have meetings and I have no idea what’s been said at all, it’s all ‘quaternions this’ and ‘tristripping that’.

I have however worked out that Tristripping is, tragically, not NEARLY as exciting as it sounds. It’s all something to do with triangles. And not even sexy triangles like you get on a sexy 3D stripper’s knockers or anything, just normal triangles. :(

There’s more to come very soon, including trailers and screenshots of the unpleasantly-brown levels. You know why.

Full press release and five whole screenshots at zombie-cow.com/privates

If you want to know more, stay tuned at zombie-cow.com or twitter.com/thezombiecow or something.